ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
last night I used snow as a chaser
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