if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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