well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
