We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
