Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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