The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
