so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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