Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Redeem this text for a blowjob
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
