She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
