Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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