Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
