pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
