I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
