another moral hangover. fuck.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
