Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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