is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
