Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
