ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
