You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
