it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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