yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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