apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
