I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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