This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
