you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
