You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
