the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize