what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
