He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Alive.
So much puke
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
