I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
