you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
