stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well I just put wine in my tea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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