i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
