I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
