Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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