your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
