Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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