oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
