I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
