I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
