Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
