This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
