I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
