I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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