i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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