The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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