So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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