O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
