Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
