Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
