adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
